1. finish all my homework
2. clean up my room :D
havent been getting a real sleep since the walk last night on saturday till now.
feeling pretty crappy. feeling wrong. feeling right. feeling crazy. feeling unwanted. feeling ' dont know what to feel" . feeling sappy. feeling happy. feeling unhappie. feeling angry. feeling emotional. feeling dont belong. feeling like the end of world is about to come. feeling helpless. feeling " why is this happeninng "
there's so much im feeling now that i dont know how to feel anymore. it's has always been about other people never myself. i always take out my heart and wear in on my sleeves. im always there for them but never was they for me. starting to feel being used and taking for granted. everytime it happens, i keep telling myself that it's okay and maybe they didnt mean it but after that day, i doubt if im still a friend to them. or am i just some reason, some people they find they are bored, some excuse they used to just get out from somewhere or someone.
this holidays sucks most. ESpecially on my Burfdaii. i just feel like...
i know i may not be the " BESTED" friend anyone can have but at least i know, i try to be there whenever i can for u guys. but u were never there for me. Ask urself this Question. Did U ever TAKE ME FOR GRANTED? coz i think u did. im never gona be able to be friends with u like i can anymore. No matter how much i want to but it's enough that im feeling all this crap and yet to be taking advantage off all the fucking time.
( im not saying that i cant survived without u guys coz there's so much other people who cares about me but im just disappointed )
I just can't believe your gone,
still waiting for morning to come,
wanna see if the sun wil rise,
even without you by my side.
When we had so much in store,
tell me what is it i'm reaching for.
When we're through building memories,
i'll hold yesterday in my heart, in my heart.
trying to take a step at a time. trying to catch my breath. trying to find the moments i've missed. trying to be strong again.
gona go take my shower and get ready for Jo.ZeLyn.CheongHong.Joey.
thanks to Jo and ZeLyn for taking all the trouble to make later the evening works. I know my birthday is over and yet u guys are gona celebrate it again with me =] Really really happy.
Many Thanks to Ivin and Weishin And Takwai and Leon for the bear. I love it soo much <3> N nicholas and Tak Wai again for the flowers ^^
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