getting addicted to ...

i just finished watching this youtube video..
http://youtube.com/watch?v=gQNY7Sti8FY

i totally understand what she means right now. and it actually caught me thinkin.. it's true, i dont really remember most of my childhood doing stuffs wid friends and family members but instead..staying at home playing computer, aim, phone and tv and everything.

as everything's begining to be more expensive, petrol, food, flour, egg, milk, sugar and even electricity and water bills. mom and dad was talking bout it and saying that no longer can spend extra..luxiouries like going on shoppin should be cut down.

to be honest..things arent really going on well at home. probably some of you who knows me, heard my mom shouting over the phone and through the line.. seriously, it's getting soo bad right now. i dont know what i can do much anymore because i really dont know and it's outta my control and knowledge to handle it but seriously, it's heartbreakin to see it happen over and over again when they say it's their last..
this time, im keepin everything in becoz i realised there's no point in tellin anyone bout it, ( it's not even something good to know anyway ) but i really gotta let it out this time.. everytime it feels like im about to lose it.

i stopped drinkin some time ago but took a couple last nite.. and it felt good. i felt soo release and relaxed after takin it. mom found out bout me taking some of it.. i thought she would flipped but all she said was, dont drink so much. dad's always freakkin not around at home. mom's always pissed about it. dad pretty much dont care bout anything and i thnk mom has given up on him.

sometimes im really scared that they might break up and i have to choose between the two. i dont want my family to fall apart but what if it does? who will be there to hold me? who will be there to support me? no one..