losing it

mom found out about the blog and now she's pissed. She wants to know who was the guy i kept talking about and everything else in the blog. Letting her read was already good enough and it wasnt because i wanted to, but she forced me to give her the password or she would go to school and make a big fuss about it. The thing is, i dont know how to tell her everything because whenever i tried to, she never listens but only screams. How am i supposed to even talk to her bout everything when helping my friends and being there for my friends, lending my ears on the phone, she calls it a waste of time and called them rubbish? How can u do that? Its bad enough that u dont respect me but ur not respecting my friends and called them rubbish despite the fact u dont know the whole story.

Things have gone way outta control and its still is. Plus, people in school treats me like im dirt or shit. It's like i have no feelings. Isolating me from everyone, i dont know but i guess it makes u feel satisfied because u got everyone manipulated and thinking that i would make a big thing of it. And when i didnt, u tried to bring me down by telling me ur having tuiiton wid him after mine failed. Trying to rub it in my face. I have to say, i underestimated you. Ur really good at all these games, that i have to give it to you.

Anyhow, i dont really have time or any energy left to even think about how to react to what ur doing because im tired. Looking at the piles of homework i have due to the practices that i missed class for...that's what i should be doing. I gave my word to my mom saying i would work hard and i will. If it's right i will do it..but you have to give ne some time to deal with the changes and get used to it. It's tough nowadays and im not saying it's not the same like ur time but it's just different and we both know it.

I have to apologised to Cheah for not able to reply you and have a decent conversation wid you. I know it's been weeks since we talked. I'm sorry.. alright? Dont be angry wid me.

Also, Stephie n Jules.. u guys have been there for me.. I appreciate it. xD